Side Road

Sometimes, I wish I could explain the way I feel in a clear logical way, but I can't. Because this is something that's got nothing to do with logic. It's a mish-mash of emotions and fears and up-bringing and education, and God knows what else.

Sometimes, I just can't accept it, the Love part. It's so much wanting to be faithful to myself.

Does that makes sense?

It's not that the fear of sin has anything to do with it. But maybe, deep down inside me, I have lived a life full of regrets and bitterness.

You can see people, all of them cheating like mad. We've got to admit it, they are scurvy lot; they give Love a bad name.

Someone once said, morality is a luxury few can afford. Well, that's one thing. What if people get it off together, and they like it? Then, drifted apart for whatever reason.

Hey! That wasn't so bad at all, as a matter of fact, it was fun! And, find themselves another lover, then they're on their way to bimbo land.

It could happen.

In short, I don't trust myself, and do not dare take the chance. It doesn't make me braver, but a coward. Then, let it be.

It's like your driving along a highway, you know where you're going. Then, you see a side road leading away. It looks great. All leafy, beautiful! You are tempted to turn off and explore it. Find out where it goes, but you don't. And maybe, you think of that side of the road, a lot, in the years to come.

Regret is too strong of a word, but curiosity is there. You may never stop wondering where that road led.

And, what's gonna happen?

Nothing!

Oh! I will survive.

I've been unhappy before. And, I will be unhappy again.